I'm currently dating a great guy. He's super awesome and has put up with a lot. But hey, he doesn't know about blogspot so that gives me free rein to tell dating stories.
Well, lesse, I've dated a fair bit of weirdos and losers. Although to be honest I have had bad taste. Hey, everyone's been young and having fun.
There was Super Shy Guitar Guy. See, I'd had a thing for him for awhile, and had finally gotten him back to my place. The guy, to be honest, wasn't that attractive. He drank too much, had thrown up on my car, and had so far refused any kind of sexual below clothes contact.
Cut to my apartment. We're going at it, and, in the middle of things, he asks, "Hey, can you do me a favor?" and gestures to his penis. I ask, "Um, you want me to go down on you?"
"Yeah, like..a favor.."
So I obliged.
Worst man-bush ever.
There's a phrase from gay guys called 'The Shield'. It's where you take your hands, and make a trianglular hole (between both of your first fingers and thumbs) to let the penis through but not the rest of that stuff. The rest of your hands block the bush from tickling your nose, and making you sneeze (you know your jaw clamps sometimes when you do that? Yeah, bad idea.)
If you do it right, the offender won't even know you're trying not to get a hairball.
Damn, last time I did THAT guy a 'favor'.